Aug 19,2006

No real news from the Neurologist. More tests.
He’s ordered three neuro tests and suggested a spinal tap. I’ve scheduled the neuro tests, but refused the spinal tap. The idea of them inserting a needle into my spine, when I’m already having neurological problems just doesn’t’ sit well with me. The risks seem to great compared to the possible benefits. If there was a cure for MS, I’d consider the spinal tap.. But just to confirm what we’re 99.5% sure of, seems a little over the top to me.

I asked my doctor what ELSE it could be… gimme the short list of possibilities. He said there WERE no other possibilities. Nothing else causes the symptoms I’m having the way I’m having them. .. that’s what he said.

So – if there are no other possibilities, what’s the point of the spinal tap. There is no cure for MS. There are no effective treatments for MS, either, and I’m not ready to go on disability – I can still write, even if I have to use voice rec. software or talk into a tape recorder and have my partner transcribe. Most of the time, I still use my keyboard, even if it hurts to use it. So.. with no cure, no real treatment and no need to convince the feds that I’m disabled, why have the spinal tap?  I can’t see a reason. My partner supports my decision on this. He’d tell me if he thought I should allow it. There ore several ppl who disagree with me, saying that I need a *definite* answer. Seems to me, though, that ‘no other possibilities’ is pretty definite.

I’ll probably skip the spinal, unless someone can convince me it will make a difference in my treatment and the eventual outcome of the disease.

That’s another thing.. dis – ease. I truly believe all illness is the manifestation of a dis – ease of the soul. Something in  the soul needs attention. With asthma, it’s a sign that the person is holding something back, choking out the soul by not being themselves. What message from the soul does MS send? What’s the lesson? I’m going to have to break down the symptoms and effects of MS in order to find out.

But.. that is a project for another day. I have work to do on a project for my writing group.

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